I woke up this morning with the same aching head just like last night. But this was different because it was now caused by a long sleep (laughs). I had to wake up early so as to catch up with the 8:00 AM mass and thanks to the random thoughts and worries(?), I pushed myself to get up to bed before I could decide against going to mass.
Same views welcomed me just before I get in the church; families starting their Sunday with a mass, couples sitting together, hands intertwined, waiting for the mass to start over (most of these couples were teenagers), children running along the front yard/garden of the church premises, choirs on their uniforms (whatever they call it) sitting relaxed in their bench, lectors, acolytes, sacristans and priests preparing for the mass and of course, people like me who unconsciously loves observing how the world goes around her.
When the mass started, I was in deep focus on the ceremony. I completely detached myself from all those observations and try, as much as possible, not to look anywhere aside from the altar. But to my surprise, the altar caught my attention, swinging me back from the musing or wonderment of how things flow here on earth. There was an assistant to the priest. We call it seminarista, a person who is pursuing his profession to be a priest. And the question hit me like a child seeking for an answer, the difference is that a child does not know when an answer is vague enough to doubt the reasons why. And I doubt the reason I have in mind. The question is, how do they realize that they want to serve Him? When did they realize that and how did it hit them? Is it the love for religion or is is a true devotion that they want in their entire life?
For 18 years of my existence, I met some people who once entered a seminary and left. Contesting "before" that they really wanted to be a priest but then, along the road of the so-called life, they met the woman who made them realized that they were not supposed to be a priest but a father to the sons/daughters that the woman is going to bear. Funny how things go for some like that. Maybe, at some point of their lives, they really wanted to be of service to Him as a priest who preach the the teachings of God. Or may be it is just a test for them, if they really wanted to be like that? It is really confusing and mind boggling.
Despite of all those reasons or questions perhaps, I end up with a resolute explanation just to satisfy myself (laughs). My conclusion is that those persons whom we now call priests and had been ordained by the church are those people who did not found the happiness outside church. But they sought it upon studying and learning things about Him. I actually salute the priests because they survived life like that. One of the noble profession, indeed. Even though it bothers me why priests choose to be priests, I still salute them for taking that path. Maybe, we all have our own roads to take and that is the road meant for them.
Ciao.
