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Monday, October 5, 2015

YOU and ME, A Separate Entity

Please know that I imagined my life with you.

I'll wake you up in the morning caressing your face and whispering in your ears, "Honey, wake up." We'll both prepare for work. You'll cook our breakfast or maybe I will depending on whose in the mood. Or if we're not in the mood, we'll just grab anything that's edible. We'll never have to worry about that because we're made to be flexible in all aspects of our relationship.

We don't need to call or text each other every now and then because we both know that what we need is to focus on our day jobs. But we'll both be excited to get home and talk about our day because we know that constant communication is what a lasting relationship needs.

Some other nights you'll be out late, you'll hangout with your buddies. You'll drink some beer, smoke some cigarette. Some other days, I'll be the one who'll spend quality time with friends. We don't need to mess with each other's social life. You could accompany me at times and vis-a-vis. But a girl's night out or a boy's night out is strictly followed. We are at ease because trust is our foundation. There are no set rules we are simply faithful with each other.

On certain days that we are both too lazy to do things, we'll just lie in bed and talk or sleep or read or listen to music or simply just lie down and do nothing. Each other's presence is enough because we both know that we don't need anything or anyone.

We'll go out on a date, it maybe seldom but it will be a different kind of date like visiting a museum and admiring certain art pieces or going in a place where there is "nothingness". We don't do the cliches, because we look for something different and something extraordinary. Something that will keep the relationship going and not boring. 

We'll go on different places, we'll experience different cuisines and cultures. You'll take pictures and we'll write our stories. Each and every piece of our experience will be recorded because we want our story to be told, to inspire, to motivate, to encourage.

We'll be doing the things that we want the most and we'll experience the world together both its ups and downs, all its compassion and cruelty, all its happiness and sadness. Everything that it will throw at us we'll surely face it head on because we are in it together.

But sadly, all these are just made up situations. All these are the "could have been". All these are just hopes that will never be met. All these are just ideas. Because all these are the things that we want but sadly fate does not allow us to do all of these and to experience all of these. Because now we are not in this together. You have your battle and I have mine. We started as "you" and "me" and we ended up like that again. There is no "us" once more.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Exit From An Escape

Seeing you walk away
My heart couldn't do anything but sway
With you, I wanted to run and never falter
But I know the moment's not mine to alter.

We have a life that would never fit.
At least not now, that's our defeat.
Two people bound with another,
It's not yet our time to be together.

It was always a bliss
when I am with you.
But after the kiss,
the pain always comes through.

Should I tell you?
Will I ever get to tell you?
Cause it was "Goodbye."
That I last hear from you.

From here, we will stop
and gradually it will create a gap.
I fear that you'll forget
Yet, there's nothing that I regret.

The words that I keep and you long to hear 
It will never get us anywhere.
I will just write it down for you
In the simplest way, I love you.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Samahang Ignatians

Muntik ko ng makalimutan kung gaano ba kasarap ang makasama at makakwentuhan ang barkada. Sa mahabang panahon (tatlo, apat o limang buwan), ngayon ko lang napansin na matagal ko na din palang hindi nakakasama ang mga taong noon ay palagi kong nakikita at halos pagsawaan ko na ang mga mukha. Namimiss ko ang pagtawag niyo sa akin ng hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong tumingin, namimiss ko ang tagay na halos puno na ang isang baso, namimiss ko ang ka-unlihan niyo :D, namimiss ko ang pagtatampo niyo sa tuwing magpapaalam ako para umalis, namimiss ko ang tawa at mga halakhak na naiiwan sa hangin sa tuwing tayo ay magkakasama, namimiss ko kung paano tayo mag-gaguhan,

Nasan na nga ba ang barkada? Hindi ko lang ba maramdaman dahil sa sobrang dami ng ginagawa o sadyang nawala na ang dating samahan? Para 'to sa inyo IGNATIANS, miss ko na tayo!:))

Sa loob ng apat na taon, nakasama ko ang barkada. Nakilala at tunay na minahal. Sa loob ng apat na taon, nalaman ko kung paano ba dapat makisama sa mga taong sa una ay hindi ko naman talaga kilala at maituturing na tunay na mga dayuhan sa aking paningin. Para sa inyo, pang habangbuhay kong itatagay ang sarap at saya ng ating samahan.:))

Monday, November 29, 2010

Diverted.

I feel so INVISIBLE and yet I feel just so fine. Sick days do give me very good rests. This is a total disengagement from life's relentlessness which is too much of an irony. Aside from enjoying this "vacation", I also wonder how much I am losing or (maybe) gaining from this whole resting thing. Who knows? I think I'll just maximize the benefit of being home. I'm getting used to it somehow. Soon, this will be over. I am looking forward to it while I am busying myself with nothing.

*ciao*

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

White Paper

--------------------------SAY WHAT?----------------------------


I am always blank.

Nothing comes out or even comes into my mind. It is like everything turns this little meat inside my skull to be numb. It lacks out of neurons that's why I am playing idle all the time. The only battle I have to face is to think of how I would exist each time I am inside the battle field of my own life.

I am blank. I have nothing to talk about and I have nothing to feel. Maybe, everything is lost and everything just have to snap back into what it is used to be. It is a plain old justification of living dead. Maybe, I am just like a zombie or a puppet maybe, fully controlled by the surroundings and by the people around.

I am always blank.

I am wanting to do one thing but then again I always go against it. The pains of this existence have brought so much chaos and I get to think, "Does this prove anything at the very least?". Maybe the answer is no, it si just a full stupidity of wanting to avoid things and wanting to avoid feelings but it all boils down into meeting them, unconsciously.

I am always blank. And then I realized, I am just too tired. I am just too preoccupied and absorbed by things, by changes, by attitudes, by everything I mean.

I am always blank and this really needs a good rest.

*Ciao.*